i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
