ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
