4 words: hood of his car
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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