Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize