Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
