it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
