I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
