I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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