Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
