Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
