Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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