Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
