Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize