I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
