You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
