i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
