Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
