just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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