btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
