She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
