In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
