yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
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I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
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I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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