She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
