on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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