OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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