I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
