You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
that is very illegal...i love you.
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