I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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