He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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