hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
