remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
