Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
