the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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