he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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