Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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