i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
