I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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