she looked like the before picture.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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