I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
that is very illegal...i love you.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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