I love black thongs
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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