You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize