I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
