You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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