pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
we made out on top of his cat.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
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