Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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