I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
