Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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