Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you win again, gameday.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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