woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
