We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
