At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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