i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
