she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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