Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
