Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You dont lie about slip and slides
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
