i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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