I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
