there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
last night I used snow as a chaser
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
