Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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