kristin has been a bad kristin
Acid is not a monday night drug
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
