so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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