if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
