Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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