Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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