her vagine was all disorganized.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
