he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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