My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
