Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
