despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
