i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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