He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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