Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
